Pressure, Guilt or Anxiety about your choices, tasks, projects or commitments are simply a sign that you are not in FLOW with what is BEST FOR YOU. It indicates that your Body and/or Higher Self is not 'on board' with the decision or task. Finding Flow is about hitting the 'sweet spot' where you can progress or complete a task without stress, overwhelm, pressure or guilt.
Use the FLOW FINDER to help you take responsibility for your drive (what you want to do), your timing (when you want to do it), your style (how you want to do it) and your rhythm (setting boundaries to support your choices). Once you take responsibility for your own choices you are empowered and energy can flow.
The Shadow refers to the ‘dark side’ of your psyche – those aspects of yourself that you’ve split off, rejected, denied, disowned, hidden from yourself and projected onto others. You disown and reject parts of yourself because you fear judgement. You fear punishment, rejection, separation, ultimately you fear being unloved. The purpose of Shadow work is to find and re-own all those parts of yourself that you have rejected and deemed unlovable in order to achieve integration and wholeness. One of the greatest benefits of Shadow work is that it frees up energy. Maintaining a Shadow (hiding stuff from yourself) is hard work and it takes a great deal of energy to continue ‘managing your identity’ and repressing the parts of yourself that are not who you think you ‘should’ be. Once you face your shadow, you become whole, more authentic and more energetic!
Before you slap a band aid, detox program, new self-help book or training program on that self-care problem take a moment to look for its root cause. What is the 'program' (i.e. the limiting belief and unhelpful emotion) at the root of your issue? Is this a recurring theme for you?
Sometimes our 'self-care' efforts are still a coping mechanism, sure, it's better to do Yoga than polish off a bottle of vino and a Cadbury's family block, but you can also do a shitload of downward dogs without really dealing with the cause of your pain, baggage or sabotage. Once you know the root cause, all of your self-care efforts will be turbo-charged!
Ever try to over-compensate for an extreme behaviour by adopting another extreme behaviour? The 'Pendulum Swing' can play a useful role in helping you change, sometimes you need to 'go wild' to break out of your rut. But what if you don't enjoy wild rides? And what if you're just really STUCK.
Even if you don't like being stuck in your extreme behaviour, often you can't let it go because (believe it or not) you are getting something good out of it AND you're totally shit scared of becoming the opposite. Ever sworn to yourself that you'll 'never' be like your mother?
Use THE ZONE to help you break down your resistances and 'holding on' and find the middle ground.
Stop the drama I want to get off!! Have you ever noticed that your best self-development efforts to grow and evolve turn totally pear-shaped once you spend some time with your family? Or no matter what you do you just can't seem to stay 'zen' at work or around particular types of people? All human drama plays out according to the 'Drama Triangle', it even plays out within our bodies! So if you're serious about letting go of sabotaging behaviours and unhealthy relationship dynamics, you gotta know how to stop playing the 'role' you are always playing and get off the triangle. It pays to know how the drama triangle works and to become really aware of the roles you play.
Use the STOP THE DRAMA worksheet to help you identify what is holding you back from taking responsibility for your self-worth and to release yourself of your need for drama.